~ Coagulum Spiritus ~

I have taken this excellent quiz made by da-sein plushie, if you like this please take this quiz yourself and pass it on.

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Category 6

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on Holderlin You scored higher than 99% on Coleridge You scored higher than 99% on Tennyson You scored higher than 99% on Blake

Link: The romantic and victorian poet Test written by daseinplushie on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Taking this from tudorlady

Please leave a one-word comment that you think best describes me.

It can only be one word.

No more.

Then copy & paste this in your journal so that I may leave a word about you

A friend's dream in her journal reminded me of this song. It haunts me. I always feel like there is something very deep within the lyrics, encoded and meant for me to figure out. I am loopy like that.

I have had dreams about lions either at the door or in the house and they are always such emotional dreams, maybe this is why the deep feeling attached to the song:

Lyrics:
( Read more )

Thanks to Mia-Stella. :)

One comment, I am already married to a emotional, moody, and difficult to please man and I have no intention of "breaking up"...lol.

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

I woke up two hours after I went to sleep last night to have a really bad vertigo/nausea thing. It wiped me out and today has been a total waste.

I hope my netflicks get here today. I ordered "Impromptu" and I am looking forward to watching it tonight. It is the love story of Chopin and author George Sands (a lady) and it is really a sweet movie. I have seen it before. She is so bold and aggressive and he is so shy, retiring and consumptive.

Thanks to Mia-Stella! :)

( Read more )

When did I lose "me"?

I just don't know. Perhaps around the age of 13 it started. There were so many things I knew intuitively about life and the whole of everything when I was a child and no one thought me those things, they simply were there.

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I watched "The Libertine" with Johnny Depp last night. Very good yet deeply disturbing historical. It brings up so many questions about truth and mental boldness. Okay, yeah but why not rather make a movie about a REAL great poet like William Blake who was genius and sexy and full of boldness and truth but not a man who was bent on self destruction. Someone who wanted to understand the reasoning spectre rather than to mock it and try to take it apart piece by piece through destructive sexual exploration and trying to drive a wedge between those male and female energies that drive the universe? The male and female that make up the totality of the all?

Why not seek truth from through sight of beauty rather than to try and tear beauty apart, to mock and destroy beauty because it is something so awesome and maddening? Why does mindless destruction so often get so much attention in our culture? Sure, give Ahriman his due...

I really like most of Depp's movies because they are always off beat and different. I also was interested in (don't think the word "enjoy" really applies!) in "From Hell" and "The Man Who Cried", "Ed Wood," "Dead Man." I loved "Crybaby," it is "Grease" for the nerds and the eclectics and the just plain strange.

I admit I fell asleep halfway through "Pirates of the Caribbean." It was just so...cheesy I guess is the word and it lacked that indefinable quality of difference that most of Depp's movies have.

Then we watched "Solomon and Geanor" which was such a sad, sweet movie.

I have been reading the Horatio Hornblower novels and in them his first wife Maria is presented as somewhat of a victim really at first glance (there's a deeper image however) and I read about people feeling sympathy for her because she just wants to love Horatio so much...but really can a woman truly be said to love a man she refuses to see in his totality or to understand?

I just don't buy that Maria ever sees in Hornblower anything more than what she first saw in him when she was infactuated with him. If she ever does try to get his deeper notice, she cries and whines about his need to put duty above marriage. She married him even knowing he did not love her, so what did she expect? She knew what she was getting into and she also needed to grow up and stand up to his careless treatment of her and his later unfaithfulness once married to him. I don't see her as anything but weak and underdeveoped as an adult woman. He might have taken notice of her if she had showed him her teeth and claws a bit and cried a bit less.

So far my favorite female character in the series of novels is Marie, the woman who loves Hornblower but sees him honestly in all his strenghts and weaknesses and boldly takes what he gives her and does not humble herself to cry and beg for more.

I wonder if it is cause to commit an adult woman who sits in her living room reading profiles all day singing "That's a Strange Way to Tell Me You Love Me" (Firefall to anyone else old enough to know it!) to their cat?

Just wondering...

As for kitty, she loves it! She runs over for belly rubs and tail scratches.

Today I had some energy and have not had too many symptoms. I think that I have not been eating enough salt and that has been making me weaker and having extra symptoms.

I had been trying to stay away from salt because some say it can make vertigo worse but really I have been feeling better on more salt today and yesturday. Some alternative doctors do say that CFIDS patients are "salt dumpers" because of the adrenal weakness. I guess I should stop trying to figure it all out logically and just go with what works better. I mean the vertigo/nausea is bad enough, I don't need extra symptoms and I have had extra stuff going on for months.

I have been trying to stay away from processed foods and I had eaten a diet high in them in the past, it finally hit me that all the throat spasms, limb weakness and lightheadedness (feeling faint and different from the spin of the vertigo) have some since I started eating more homemade foods made with *light* salt.

I used my extra energy to cook up some healthy foods for myself for the week to freeze and heat later. I used normal salt instead of the light salt, also using sodium ascorbate freely.

I watched "Stage Beauty" over the weekend and I really enjoyed it. It had a good plot line and great stage settings. I enjoyed the whole examination of male-female interactions and how someone could get caught up in a fake identity and feel trapped into it and later find their real self and be the stronger for the whole experience.

Then we also watched A. I. (Artificial Intelligence) again. It is so thought provoking about what really determines consciousness and who should be guaranteed "human rights."

SPOLIER Warning:




At the end of A. I. to me when the little android boy finally is able to fall asleep and dream he becomes *human* and this happens because he has loved and been loved in return. My husband was not so sure about this view of the ending.

*********

I will be making a spicy cranberry pot roast for dinner tonight and still waiting for the apartment people to be coming in to change the light fixtures. I think it is really rude to keep people on indefinate notice that their apartment may be entered at any time during the day. Gee, I have an indoor cat, what would we do if I worked, keep the cat in her carrier for weeks at a time during the day? I have been feeling sick the past two weeks and not really wanting to have people coming in here to begin with. I wish they would just come here and do what they are going to do already.

I am getting that thing where from 10 PM to about 11AM or 12PM I have muscle aches, joint aches, sinus pressure/pain, ear pressure pain and just cannot sleep. UGH. Then if I let myself lay down and close my eyes during any part of 11 AM to around 9-10PM I just fall asleep like going into a coma and I dream such wild and vivid dreams and then I feel like the dreams are trying to tell me something, they seem that real and the meanings are so elusive, it is maddening.

My husband is on vacation this week so I hope this cycle breaks soon, I want to actually be awake and somewhat cohernet for his time home.